I'm so in love with this planet earth

After all, the long way of struggle, of stumbling and crashing down on my nose and my knees, I say: I would do it again (smile… I know I don't have to….). Each and every of my tears, which have filled an ocean over the years, was it worth.

Every single obstacle, failure and disaster were the milestones on my path; the seemingly endless pain, suffering and misery were my personal guides to the rich life, which I live now.

And what it was all about was the long lasting internal battle: ego versus Spirit. My ego has pushed this fight up to the top, even willing to accept drug addiction, schizophrenia or suicide, rather than to open to the source of who I really AM.

Well, again, I don't want to miss one single moment of all this scary experiences in my life, I look backwards (what I rarely do) with love and peace and equanimity, although, to be honest, I am seriously happy having finished these heavy tasks.

In the moments of deepest pain and suffering there was always a little light sparkling, waiting that I would open my eyes for it. And the miracle was: I did.

Fascinating to me is, from my perspective today, that I didn't see it right away, consciously and based on desire, gosh, that would have been too easy for me. No, I had to create my very own disasters and dead end streets, slamming my head against strong but invisible walls and running into futility until I was so small, totally shrunk down, empty and tired, that there was finally the space and the willingness in my head and heart to open for something different: God.

My very first acknowledgement of God was an overwhelming experience, an opening to a new dimension in my life, a miraculous vision in divine clarity and beauty, and no words can describe the perception of: "I have seen God". This was exactly the one sentence, which came over my lips after walking through that particular door. I was several days within and surrounded by a wonderful cloud of love and peace. Like a short holiday, because this is of course not the end of the story, there were lots of other heavy doors to open and to walk through.

Many years followed, in which I had to work out the issues about ego:

Vanity, jalousie, anger, frustration, sadness, despair, doubt, rejection, guilt, discrimination, prejudice, futility, arrogance, glamour, superficiality … just name it. In detail, this list can be endless, but in fact all of this has its roots in fear.

The opposite of fear is love.

And so, my path was nothing else but the path towards love, unconditional love, the Light or call it reunion with God. And still it is. The goal is to fully BE again what I AM: pure unconditional love.
The difference, so many years after my first spiritual awakening, is that I feel bliss and joy and laughter, even if I stumble again in one of these ego issues.

I will not bore you with details, but I want you to know, that it is worth it to work on our ego issues, to overcome the density of our mind and to open up for the Light and Love.

I know what I am talking about.

Equanimity through equilibrium.

Ascension through Love.

Love and Light in Oneness,
with bliss and joy and laughter.
Angela